Limping Lady

John Arvai III and Gabe Rostorfer are kicking back along side of the dusty, main drag of the Lot 2 camping area. The day has consisted of the usual debauchery (aka: breathing, drinking, cursing, drinking) and the two young men are now content laughing about their previous encounters with some of lot's more colorful characters.

Little do they know that they are about to experience a new, unchartered dimmension of hilarity.

Down the road a ways, a figure emerges from the mix of sunburnt and intoxicated morons. Soon it becomes apparent that she is making her way to the very spot where John and Gabe are standing. The woman is about 40 and walking funny. She is in pain.

"Pardon me", says the dusty broad. "Do either of you young gentlemen happen to have an Ace bandage? I twisted my ankle". She beams with the best smile she can muster, temporarily dismissing the increasing throbbing just above her right ankle.

The boys are unsure why this woman has chosen their little piece of Lot 2 as a place of refuge, especially given the outrageous amount of chaos that their campsite is generating. Empty cans are laying all around, hidden only by the occasional blade of liquor-tainted dead grass and half-eaten hamburger buns. Nonetheless, Gabe considers her question and prepares an "I'm sorry" speech which will hopefully let her down easily. But neither Gabe nor the damaged woman are prepared for what happens next: Arvai has a solution of his own.

With the heartfelt pity of a waste barrel, Arvai proclaims "haha!!.. Show me your t*ts"!

The woman is awestruck and emotionally distressed by the cold precision of Arvai's words. As the flames build in her brain, she can only say what must be said to such tom foolery. "Suck me, mother f*cker"!

As the injured lady turns in disgust, the two young men spit beer out of their mouths, errupting in a fit of laughter that would carry on until the last drop of booze early in the morning. And while the moment was reinacted many, many times in front of the other campsite vigilantes, there was something missing. Maybe it was the look of horror on her face, or the simple neglect of care towards an elder woman.

Or maybe it was just too d*mn funny and you had to be there to appreciate it.